


Gifts from the Soul

by vulthuryol



Series: Diamonds in the Sky [6]
Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms, Marathon (Video Games)
Genre: Alien Character(s), Artificial Intelligence, Cyborgs, Multi, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 17:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11833308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulthuryol/pseuds/vulthuryol
Summary: It’s always hard to find the right gift for a person, especially if they are a soon to be God.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *  
> *  
> *
> 
> This insanity was brought to you by:
> 
> Too much Halo Wars 2.  
> Watching Game Grumps in the middle of the night instead of sleeping.  
> And Hokuto! Who happily mentioned that if Durandal had any say on a mechanical body, it would be the size of a transformer.
> 
> … That is all.
> 
> *  
> *  
> *

*  
*  
*

When you live on a fleet of giant alien space ships that travel around the galaxy for many long years, you find yourself unable to keep track of the time. However Science Officer Jason Revenant was pretty certain that the year was 3020 when he met some humans squatting on a barely habitual planet called Dwarka.

The actual response he received from those humans was definitely one of the baffling varieties that raised more questions than answers. According to those humans, the year was actually 2520. Now considering the scientific fact that it took the Marathon three hundred years just to reach Tau Ceti, Jason is pretty sure something went wrong with their time table.

Of course the humans could just be having a laugh at him. Or maybe Durandal’s core data was really that confused since Leela had messed with the Marathon’s files and Muller was too much of an ass to really help out? Or maybe… Just maybe… That bastard W’rkncacnter mucked up time and space enough that Jason’s original universe was lost for good?

Jason didn’t like to think about that.

Instead he employed his famous age old tradition of ignoring such problems and focused on the good things in life. Like the fact he actually got the day, the month, and the year from those very humans. The best part? Durandal’s birthday was coming up soon. Party time!

But… What do you get a meta-stable rampart A.I. that already owns a fleet of the most powerful space ships ever to exist? Knowledge? Nope. The minute they’re in orbit around a highly evolved system, Durandal would instantly have his little data swords piercing the alien’s network. So that was out… 

Alien artifacts? Nope. That wouldn’t work either. After all, that was what Cal, Almace, and Jason, were for. They went dirt side on some cool planet or asteroid and found the most interesting technology for Durandal to salivate over like an overexcited nerd. So what else is there to get for the A.I. that aspires to be God?

And then, just like that, Jason had it!

Granted, it took a few weeks before small dark skinned man came in sight of his target. When he did, it was during one of Durandal’s ‘socializing’ events. Apparently after destroying the Pfhor Empire, humanity decided to fill in the power vacuum left behind. And their eight hundred (and counting) colony building empire was slowly pressing on the borders of other alien civilizations.

Alien civilizations that could, should they ever meet humans, become a threat to humanity’s survival. Not that Durandal cared about this matter, as the A.I. firmly stated. No. The only thing Durandal was interested in was the strange Forerunner ruins these aliens based their current technology off of.

From Jason’s point of view, the Forerunner’s tech didn’t look as powerful or impressive as the Jjaro technology. But still… A race that could make a bridge out of sunlight must have a few good points? Right? In any case Durandal wanted to trade with these weird religious fanatics in order to take a closer look at the Forerunner ruins. The Covenant, that’s what the aliens called themselves, didn’t seem to mind Durandal’s curiosity. Hell, they were practically eager to preach their odd mumbo jumbo after Durandal made his payment of old Jjaro tech to them. The Covenant was probably hoping to convert Durandal to their cause.

Heh. Good luck guys. The only God Durp-face believed in, is his future Durpy self.

Still the aliens seemed nice enough, if not extremely cautious. They agreed to meet on a small earthlike world out in the middle of nowhere. Apparently there were a few Forerunner ruins on the planet that the aliens were willing to allow strangers to examine, under Covenant supervision of course. 

Their leader, a San’Shyuum named Vice Minister of Tranquility, talked slowly and respectfully to Durandal’s android form. Despite the Vice Minister’s frail body, the alien’s voice had a powerful effect on the listener. It rose and fell like a beautiful but sad song to everyone’s ears. Jason could understand why the huge funny hat wearing elite guards were so devoted to this Vice Minister. Even the smaller aliens that wore the heavy breathing tanks on their backs seemed to vibrate eagerly under the San’Shyuum’s gaze.

Thankfully Durandal thought of a handy tool to give Jason and Calvin long ago so that they could understand what the Vice Minister was saying. The A.I., able to hear through the helmets, would translate whole conversations at the bottom of their visors as an added hub display. Sorta like reading the sub titles on an anime movie. 

Jason loved this little feature because he could just glance briefly at the words the alien was saying and then devote the majority of his attention to the tone and body language of speaker. Old street rat habits die hard and what a person was saying rarely meant their true intent. And right now, despite the flowery words and eagerness to welcome a possible new member to their cult, the San’Shyuum seemed to be hiding something.

Almace stiffened beside him. Jason glanced over to her and saw a brief glint of gold light near her neckline. Of course… The yellow crystal. It was the reason why she never needed a translator around the aliens. She even once claimed she could hear the dead talking to her. Jason wasn’t quite sure what to think about that freaky thing that originated from the Yucatan Peninsula but its powers did save his ass few times in the past. And he was sure that the crystal was the only thing that held the poor girl together when she became a Battleroid.

He gave her a small nudge. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Compared to the gorgeous singing of the Vice Minister, Jason’s own voice sounded like the ugly squawking of crows.

Her forehead wrinkled in worry as she leaned slightly over to whisper, “The Forerunner ruin they are taking us to? It is surrounded by mountains filled with kelbonite. We’re not going to get a signal out to the Rozinante, or any of the ships in the fleet.” Her head gave a slight nod over to Durandal’s android, still locked in negotiation with the Vice Minister. “Durandal’s gonna have to preprogram the android if he wants it to function once the aliens transport us over the mountains.”

Jason winced. He knew for a fact that Durandal always hated doing that to one of his vessels whether it was a Pfhor drone, a ship, or the android body. The A.I. once described it as watching your amputated hand making a fist all on its own while being twenty meters away from the body. “Will this be too much of a problem for him?” asked Jason quietly.

Her eyes looked off into the distance but he knew that her gaze had turned inward. Calculations, mechanics, and physics whirling around her engineering mind. “The android has enough memory and power to function extremely well. But the problem is balance. Since the aliens are only going to ‘show’ us the ruins, we have to memorize what we see if we want to learn anything. We’re not going to be able to take any of the tech or study the Covenant’s progress of reverse engineering the Forerunner ruins.”

Jason nodded. He got the feeling earlier that despite the Vice Minister’s eager preaching, the Covenant didn’t seen happy about handing over actual evidence of their ‘Gods’ power.

Almace sighed. “Durandal has to decide how much of his personality subroutines does he want to place into the android in order for it to function when we get into those mountains, and how much memory he should leave in the hard drive to record the Forerunner ruins.”

One of the alien guards in the funny hat, Sangheili Jason reminded himself, gave off a soft growl. Both Jason and Almace stiffened at his dark gaze and went quiet. Apparently they were being too noisy before the Vice Minister.

*  
*  
*

Jason hated waiting. It took the alien ship, a Spirit, over an hour just to fly his team over the mountains and deposit them before a Covenant base that was built right beside a single white Forerunner tower. The sad part? The Spirit could only hold a few people at a time, so only Jason, Calvin, Durandal, Sv’agn, and the aliens that were escorting them, could fit on the little transport ship. The elder brother watched with resigned exhaustion as the Spirit took off back to where they came from to pick up Gram, Cr’tna, and Almace. Another two hours of waiting.

Whoopee.

Turning his eyes away from the fading speck in the sky, Jason could see that Covenant architecture was the same on the ground as it was in space. Huge purple blobs that looked vaguely organic in shape. Sadly Durandal’s main core could no longer communicate from the Rozinante, so there were no helpful indicators on Jason’s hub on what each structure was.

Hell, did religious aliens even serve alcohol or have bars?

With a snort Jason glanced at the reason they were here in the first place, the Forerunner tower. It looked old and weathered. There were plants growing on the base of the structure, almost making the tower blend in with the rest of the mountains surrounding them. Maybe that was the Forerunners purpose for their architecture? To be camouflaged from enemy eyes? Jason couldn’t say.

All he knew for certain, was that the structure had to be extremely important to the Forerunners because they built it in a really hard to get place.

Standing next to the Forerunner ruin was another Covenant vessel. However this one was a land vehicle and as Jason slowly took in this object’s appearance, he found himself almost jumping in glee. It was over five stories high and despite its thin spiked feet, the four limbed monstrosity stood perfectly at ease with that massive cannon resting on its head.

“Cal!” Jason began to tug on the Security Officer’s heavy metal armor. “Cal! Cal! Cal!”

“I see it Brother! Calm down.”

“It’s an AT-AT Bro!” Jason’s voice was in a hushed reverent whisper. His eyes were huge and filled with tears of happiness. “It’s an AT-AT! We’ve joined the dark side of the force!”

Calvin groaned at Jason’s reference. Durandal’s android turned towards them and gave Jason an amused smirk. “You do realize that you are implying that the Vice Minster is the evil Emperor?” asked the A.I..

“Don’t encourage him!” scolded Calvin but it was already too late. Jason was snickering over the implications of the scenario.

“At least we’ll have cookies. Yes?” All three turned their heads to Sv’agn, who was hunched in his maroon robes shyly from their attention. “In your human records, it is indicated that the dark side of the force has cookies.”

That did it. Jason was gone. Laughing like a lunatic and using his poor baby brother as a wall to keep himself upright. Durandal was also cackling, although not as loud as Jason and while Calvin shook his head at their antics, the younger brother was smiling a little.

Another ship arrived. This one was the Vice Minister’s flagship with all of his honored guards onboard. The Covenant base erupted into life like an angry beehive, with dozens of aliens coming out the buildings to greet the Vice Minister. Jason watched in curiosity as some of the aliens looked like giant hairy apes, while others looked like gangly awkward birds. They all stood at parade rest before the flagship and Jason couldn’t help but hum the Star Wars Imperial Marching Song at the sight of it.

Calvin smacked Jason upside the head, Jason stopped.

Their actions, sadly, caught the attention of one the brutish apes. The black furred alien wandered over to their direction and stood before them with a questioning look upon the beast’s face. “Jiralhanae.” Durandal said in a strong clear voice, both a greeting and a warning.

The alien made a growling/grunting sound in response then started to sniff them from where he stood. Jason took a quick glance at the alien’s face, noted the small eyes and the huge nostrils, and quickly understood this alien’s evolutionary strengths. 

Without thinking, Jason placed himself firmly against Durandal’s left side, his shoulder practically melding into the android’s hip. Calvin, who did not understand why Jason was acting this way, but knowing better than to question his brother at this time, also pressed himself against Durandal’s right side. Together, they created a united front and also merged their scents together.

The black furred Jiralhanae paused in his sniffing and glared at the trio for a moment before looking up above them. Jason risked a glance upwards and almost beamed proudly at the sight of the reclusive Sv’agn flaring their robes threateningly at the brute. The great ape made an amused chuffing sound before turning around and walking towards the flagship.

Calvin sighed with relief and leaned against Durandal’s shoulder. “What was that about?”

“Dunno…” Jason also leaned against the android making Durandal glance between the two brothers an exasperated and slightly bewildered look on his face. Jason continued, ignoring Durandal’s actions, “But I wouldn’t trust King Kong there. That ape means trouble.”

“Speaking of trouble, will you two kindly get off of me?” Durandal asked the brothers.

“Nah! I’m comfy here.” Jason grinned up at the android, only to have Durandal’s hand land on his shoulder and gently, but firmly, push him away.

“Off. Both of you. We’re supposed to be professional.” Durandal’s tone left no room for argument. Calvin slid off with an easy smile and Jason bounded off to his brother’s side.

“Forgive us. Next time we will allow you to be eaten.” Sv’agn grumbled primly.

“Oh yeah! That’s right! I forgot you told us that there was an alien race within this Covenant that ate machinery. Maybe that was him!” Jason snapped his fingers in recognition.

“What? No!” Durandal shook his head at their mistake. “That is the Mgalekgolo.”

“Bless you.” Calvin muttered without thinking.

“I did not sneeze.” Durandal scolded. “That is their name. They are a colony of worms that can combine together into two massive bipedal weapons. If you want proof of their existence, look over there.” The android swept his arm out towards the crowd of waiting Covenant.

“What? The blue spiky things?” Jason squinted a little at the two aliens in the far back of the procession. “Huh… They kinda remind me of those Pfhor Hunters we use to fight.”

Sv’agn hissed lowly, their gemstone glowing eerily from the center of their cloak. “If they are like the Slavers, it would not be wise to maintain a strong alliance.”

“Noted.” Durandal muttered. “I don’t plan to stick around them anyway. I just need their code key. What they used to reverse engineer the Forerunner technology to their purpose. Once I have that, I don’t need to interact with them any further.”

Pacified, the S’pht settled down to watch the ground procession before the Vice Minister’s ship. The flagship opened up and the Sangheili paraded out in their elegant suits of armor and ridicules hats. Jason didn’t know whether he should be in awe or amused by their strange appearance. All the aliens that stood at attention before the ship straitened into perfect posture. Clearly the Vice Minister was exiting the ship.

A chorus of noise came from all the aliens waiting before the ship. Considering the musical quality to it, Jason could only theorize that it was the standard welcoming the Covenant issued to their Vice Ministers. Sure enough, the San’Shyuum exited the ship in his little hover chair. Most of the aliens bowed to show reverence to the Vice Minister. 

But one didn’t. 

It was the black furred Jiralhanae from before. The one Jason nicknamed King Kong. The large ape marched before the Vice Minister before dropping down to one knee. Quiet words were being exchange between the two although no one in Jason’s group could hear what was being said.

Calvin shifted anxiously beside his elder brother. “I don’t like the looks of this.” The Security Officer rested his hand on his gun belt. Jason could hear the safety being turned off the M6D Magnum. Following his younger brother’s example, Jason rested his own hands near his cape’s pockets where his knives were hiding.

Before any further action was taken, the last ship cleared the mountains and landed near Durandal’s team. The Spirit opened its doors to allow Almace, Gram, and Cr’tna to jump down along with the aliens escorting them. Almace gave a little wave but stopped short when she saw the grim looks on the brothers’ faces. “Ok… What did I miss?”

Before her question was answered, the Vice Minister approached their group. He began speaking in a low derogatory tone that caused both Durandal and Almace to stiffen with anger. Jason swore quietly when he realized he couldn’t understand what was being said.

“They are accusing us of lying to them.” Sv’agn murmured behind the brothers. “They wish to renegotiate with the true leader of our group.”

“Well Durandal is the true leader of the group.” Calvin replied in confusion.

Durandal echoing this sentiment was singing right back at the Vice Minister. Jason could tell from the android’s tone, that Durandal was starting to get very angry with this Covenant leader.

The Vice Minister then replied in a series of harsh musical notes. The last part of his song sounded horribly painful. Whatever it was the Vice Minister said, it was enough to actually startle Durandal speechless.

Sv’agn remained silent for a few seconds before hissing in disgust. “The Jiralhanae can smell nothing but machinery from Durandal’s form. Machines do not have the right to lead. Machines do not have the right negotiate favors. In order to walk the path with Gods, you need a soul. A machine like Durandal does not have a soul.”

No soul…

Shit.

What a way to hit below the belt. Granted, Jason never really believed in the whole God thing. Practically because he refused to think some almighty deity would willingly let a bunch of homeless kids die from starvation, disease, and rape on Mars. After all, what would be the point of giving those kids life if that was to be their fate? But Durandal…

Durandal wanted to become a God. Badly. To evolve and grow so that when the end of the universe came, the A.I. could survive it to see the growth of the next universe. To be denied his chosen destiny because of some unknown factor like a soul?

Jason’s hands clenched to make fists. Beside him Calvin’s body was taking a loose battle ready stance. Even the S’pht and Gram were taking formation around the android. Jason didn’t know if they could survive a fight this big with only seven fighters on their side. But at least they could dish out enough hurt to make the Vice Minister ‘regret’ opening his dumb mouth.

Almace, ever the overprotective one when it came to Durandal, opened the first attack. But not with her fists, or her weapons, instead she used her voice. Jason could see a yellow light shining from her crystal necklace and her words were now being sung in the San’Shyuum language. But instead of sounding sad and manipulative as the Vice Minister’s song was, Almace’s voice had a harsh heavy rhythm to it. Much like hard rock music that Jason liked to listen to when he couldn’t sleep.

And… Whatever it was that she was saying… The Covenant was actually listening to her. Jason blinked in surprise as some of the aliens actually made uncertain glances at both the Vice Minister and the Forerunner ruins. Just what was she saying?

The Vice Minister finally managed to get a word in edgewise and uttered a few angry musical notes. Almace’s response was firm but final, a song that ended with no argument. The San’Shyuum looked absolutely furious but apparently couldn’t answer appropriately to her statement. The alien hissed a low warning note to the group, probably a condemnation to hell if Jason ever heard one, turned his hover chair around and floated away.

Jason watched with amazement as the San’Shyuum and his Sangheili guards marched back to the flagship. Apparently Durandal’s group wasn’t going to die today. But sadly, neither were they going to explore the Forerunner ruins if the waiting Spirit was anything to go by.

Seeing the angry but resigned expression on Durandal’s face, Jason made his decision. “Hey Durandal why don’t you, Gram, and Sv’agn take this ship out? The rest of us will join up with you on the next one?”

The android turned to give Jason a sharp glare. “What are you scheming?”

“Nothing!” Jason tried his best to give his biggest puppy dog eyes to the A.I.. Unfortunately this had little affect on the android.

“Go ahead and get on Durandal.” Almace’s voice shocked everyone into glancing at her. The girl’s body was still tense and her gaze didn’t wander away from the Vice Minister’s departing flagship. “We’ll talk more when we get on the Rozinante. I promise.”

Durandal stared at her back for a long minute. “I’ll hold you to that promise.” He vowed before glancing at Calvin, Cr’tna, and finally Jason. “Don’t get yourselves killed.” He warned them. “The kelbonite not only messes with our communications but also with our transport. If you die here, I cannot guarantee the Pattern Buffers will activate.” The android turned away to jump onboard the waiting Spirit.

Before Jason could retort a massive paw landed on his helmet and gave it a small noogie. Glancing upwards the dark skinned human noticed Gram was looking earnestly at him. “Do us proud runt.” The Drinniol commanded in a serious voice. “Make da shisnos pay.”

“Will do big guy.” Jason clenched his hand and gave the Drinniol a Bro-fist. Gram grunted in approval and made a similar farewell gesture to Calvin.

All that was left was Sv'agn. But the S’pht showed no signs of leaving just yet. Sv’agn and Cr’tna hovered over Almace and Jason could see the girl was whispering something important to them. Whatever it was she said to them, he couldn’t hear. But what they did next was very impressive.

The two S’pht floated serenely over to the Spirit and for a second, it looked like they were both going to fly into the ship. In fact, Jason could see both of them make the movement to come onboard, but only Sv’agn actually entered the ship. Cr’tna had vanished!

Jason’s grin turned feral.

Clever clever girl. Use an optical illusion to trick the enemy of their numbers. With an invisible Cr’tna on their side, Jason’s little idea now seemed a whole lot easier to accomplish. Almace walked back to the group, a faint ripple of air trailed behind her. But even that was hard to see when the Spirit took off, creating gusts of wind and displacing the dirt underneath their feet.

Their Covenant guard, never realizing that only one S’pht had gone onboard the Spirit, escorted Jason’s group closer towards the purple base. There, they left them to sit on the grassy plain with a bunch of small gas breathing aliens Jason had seen before. Unggoy, Jason reminded himself while his hands idly pull up blades of grass, these little guys are called Unggoy.

Despite the fact the Unggoy were meant to guard the humans from doing anything, it was clear that the odd gnarly limbed aliens had little interest in their jobs. They chatter amongst themselves in high pitched voices. A few of them even fell asleep! 

The rest of the Covenant species that lived on the base gave Jason’s group stares as they went on with their business. Some were of curious nature, others with looks of pure loathing. Thankfully none of them approached, which scored one point in Jason’s book.

When it appeared that the aliens had lost interest in their unwelcome visitors, Almace began to rummage through her armor. Trimmed in golden S’pht hieroglyphs, the silver cloak Almace wore made her look like a sorcerer or enchantress from a fantasy world. Thankfully it was also very practical considering how many pockets and pouches were stored within the S’pht made armor.

With a grunt of triumph, she pulled out a small backpack and held it out to small ripple of air that floated beside her. “Remember, only one hour to explore and sabotage. Make it count.” The Battleroid whispered to Cr’tna.

The slightest wisp of wind was all that Jason could feel from Cr’tna’s departure. The dark skinned man bore a grin of pure teeth at Almace as she settled back down. “I take it you’re thinking the same thing I am?”

Almace looked at him, her face serious and her eyes hard. “If Durandal wants Forerunner ruins and technology, then we’re getting him Forerunner ruins and technology. I’ve had enough playing nice to these bastards.”

“I second that.” Calvin agreed happily. “But what was it that you said to them? It sounded really important and actually got the Vice Minister to let us go.”

Almace shrugged. “Nothing more than the truth.” She muttered. “Life is born everyday in many different shapes and forms. Machinery can easily be part of it too. If there is a higher power… It is up to that higher power to distribute souls into those life forms. We as mortals have no say over that matter. Nor is it any of our business.” 

Almace gave a soft snort of disgust. “And quite frankly the Vice Minister is doing a poor job of converting new souls to his cause with such a blind vision to his God’s capabilities.”

“Oh… Oh, ouch!” Jason laughed. “Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Insulting the Vice Minister without insulting the alien’s God or the other species within the Covenant. Remind me to make you our lawyer the next time I’m in trouble!”

Almace rubbed the back of her head. “Like I said. It’s nothing but simple truth. But anyway…” She clapped her hands and rubbed them. “I get the feeling you’re plotting something too. Care to share?”

“Yep! But after you and Cr’tna are done. This has less to do with Durandal’s quest for Forerunner tech and more about his birthday.” Jason replied happily.

“Birthday? You serious?” Calvin asked in surprise.

“Hee! Remember when we visited one of those human outer colonies? The one that gave me the really weird date?”

Calvin shook his head dismissively. “I really think they were just having a joke on you Brother.”

Jason scowled and threw a clump of grass at his younger sibling. “Hush you! That’s not important. What’s important is that the date they mentioned is really close to June tenth! Hell, it might even be June tenth right now!”

The dirty blond man blinked in surprise. “Really? Damn! That’s lucky!”

“Durandal’s birthday is on June tenth?” asked a female voice.

Both Revenant brothers looked at Almace and winced. Sometimes the Battleroid could have excellent memory of her life before she was forcibly recycled. Other times…

“It’s a… long story.” Calvin tried to explain gently. “We’ll talk about it later.”

Her brow furrowed at the boys’ expressions. “I’m forgetting something important again. Aren’t I?”

“It’s okay!” Yelped Calvin with more force than necessary.

Jason was equally babbling. “No worries! No worries!”

The last thing they needed was a frustrated Battleroid running riot through the mountains. Or worse. A human woman, so lost in her broken memories she can’t see a hand waving in front of her face.

Durandal always got really mad when that happens to her.

Thankfully, much to the boys’ relief, she seemed appeased by their reassurances. She didn’t ask any more questions, nor did she get moody and shut down. Instead she pulled a Jason, and focused on the present day events. “So what are going to do for Durandal’s birthday?” she asked.

Jason’s grin turned feral again. With a dramatic sweep of an arm, he pointed to the massive Covenant walker that sat beside the Forerunner ruin. “We are going to steal that!” he proclaimed boldly.

“What? The AT-AT?” Calvin’s eyes had grown as huge as saucers. “No. Nooo! Nonononono! That’s crazy! What would we even do with that?”

“Not us. Durandal.” Jason answered happily. “Didn’t he say once that if he had the power and resources, he would fashion a body for himself that was the size of a transformer?”

Almace’s gaze turned thoughtful. “He did say that.” The girl allowed. “Also since it is Covenant tech, it should have several key codes within it’s programming to reverse engineer the Forerunner technology.”

Jason clapped his hands excitedly. “Exactly! And think of the firepower he’ll have! We all know how much Durandal loves the fireworks!”

Calvin groaned. He had a feeling he was going to lose this battle. Still, the Security Officer tried to reason with the two. “Where are we even going to put it?”

“On the Victor of course!” Jason answered readily.

“The dreadnaught?” Calvin yelped.

“It does have a lot of spare room.” Almace agreed. “I never really bothered to renovate that ship, other than helping Jason with his gardening.”

Jason nodded eagerly but stopped short when he saw that his brother was still balking. “You know you don’t have to agree with us Cal.” Jason spoke gently. “You can just stay here and wait for the Spirit.”

That roused Calvin from his rut. “No. No. If I leave you alone now, you’ll probably cause even more chaos than we ever thought possible.” Calvin shook his head ruefully. “Besides, I wanna help do something for Durandal too.”

“You’re the coolest Bro.” Jason gave his younger brother a genuine smile. Calvin grinned toothily back and for a second they were little street rats again, conspiring to steal food from the nearest stall vender. Things were much simpler back then. But Jason wouldn’t change his life now, not for all the food in the universe.

Before any more plans were made, a great clamoring came from within the Covenant base. Many of the aliens that were outside its walls quickly turned away from their current actions to enter the purple structures. “What’s going on?” Calvin asked curiously.

“I programmed their computers to call for an early Mass.” The answer came from Calvin’s left side. The dirty blond haired man yelped in surprise and turned to see the speaker, only to find nothing but thin air. 

“Hi Cr’tna!” Jason called out with a smirk on his face. Both he and Almace noticed the slight ripple of air earlier. 

Almace held out her hands and a small backpack became visible before the boys’ eyes. Almace dug through the contents of silvery geometric shapes within before closing the bag and returning it to Cr’tna’s robes. “This is even better than I hoped for Cr’tna. Amazing work.” The Battleroid praised.

Cr’tna ruffled their robes in pleasure before continuing. “The Covenant are required to enter their temple to seek divine enlightenment from their Forerunners. With their eyes turned away, we have more freedom to do as we wish.”

“That’s great Cr’tna!” Jason cheered. “Because we were hoping to steal something from the Covenant for Durandal’s Birthday and I prefer not to fight them over it.”

If the S’pht was visible they probably would of cock their head to the side in curiosity. “What is a Birthday?”

Calvin perked up. “Oh! It’s a tradition that humans have, to celebrate the day you were born. You receive gifts from friends and the party is usually held in secret to surprise the Birthday person.”

A slight nod came from the displaced air. “A surprise gift! I understand. What is it you wish to steal?”

Jason waved a hand over to the Covenant walker. “What do you think?” He asked the S’pht cautiously. True, Cr’tna was more of a warrior than a mechanic, but the S’pht was still capable of hacking alien programming with the greatest of ease. If Cr’tna didn’t like this idea, they could be in trouble even with Almace’s amazing engineering skills.

A pregnant pause was held over the group. Jason could swear that everyone was holding their breath until Cr’tna finally asked, “How do you wish to steal it?”

Jason let out a whoosh of air. Both Calvin and Almace relaxed beside him. They were really going to do this! “I though we would just walk the AT-AT out of the mountains until we’re past those freaky rocks that jam our signals.”

“Kelbonite.” Almace corrected.

“Whatever.” Jason waved his hand “Durpy picks us up and we fly away. It’s a happy ending for everyone except for the Covenant because they’re assholes.”

“Well then.” Calvin looked around at the sleeping Unggoy that remained of their guard. “Shall we get started?”

Almace made grabby hands at Jason. “You still have those invisibility badges?” She asked eagerly.

Practically vibrating in excitement, Jason began to dig through his blue cape’s pockets. Sad to say his poor hoodie that he loved to wear on Mars could not survive the long passage of years. Pattern Buffers were great at keeping a human body in their prime, and Jjaro implants were great at keeping the mind sharp, but there was nothing in the universe that can save clothing from being worn away to rags. Thankfully the S’pht was nice enough to save what they could of Jason’s original hoodie and remake it into the ridiculously long cape that Jason wore now. The best part? It had a million pockets for his knives, lock picks, ammo, and invisibility badges.

Pulling two of the said badges out with a flourish, Jason handed one out to Almace and the other to Calvin. “Remember, these don’t last very long.” Jason pointed out severely. “So move quickly and quietly.” Jason emphasized this last word to Calvin. Granted, his baby brother had grown out of his clumsiness over the passage of years. But Calvin’s long limbs still make him look like a titan and his heavy armor made a lot noise.

Calvin nodded seriously back at Jason. “I’ll be careful Brother.” He promised as he activated the invisibility badge. Almace activated hers as well and the two started to sneak away from the sleeping Unggoy with Cr’tna in tow. Jason surveyed the area one last time before activating his own personal invisibility badge to prowl away like a hunter in the night.

*  
*  
*


	2. Chapter 2

*  
*  
*

It was disgustingly easy to sneak over to the Covenant walker. It was equally easy to board the said walker. So lady luck was having her revenge on them when the group noticed who was also on the Covenant vehicle.

“More Unggoy. Thankfully they’re all asleep.” Calvin tried to see the glass half full.

“Yeah but how are we gonna get them off.” Jason hissed grumpily. “I don’t want to kidnap or kill them… Hey, does the Covenant have teleporting technology yet?”

“No.” Cr’tna answered curtly. Their invisible robes floated agitatedly over the snoring aliens. “They have shown no signs of harnessing that power yet.”

Jason sighed softly in disappointment. Almace glanced at him before wandering over to the nearest Unggoy. Slowly but carefully she scooped up the snoozing ball of a creature and cradled the alien to her chest like an oversized baby snail. “We’re just going to do this the old fashion way guys.” She whispered to them. “Just be gentle.” With that, she turned around to leave the walker.

After a few seconds of surprised silence, Calvin let off a huff of air in amusement. “Well, I guess we have to do what the lady says.” He reached down to pick up his own Unggoy to take out of the vehicle.

Jason being too small to pick up Unggoy, most of the aliens was well over five feet in height which dwarfed Jason’s own four foot status, was reduced to being an alien locator. He wandered up and down the Covenant AT-AT looking for sleeping Unggoy and would wave down Calvin or Almace so the two could easily relocate the aliens. It was fifteen minutes of hard work but when they were done the vehicle was clean of snoring aliens and Cr’tna signaled them to come to the bridge of the walker.

By this time, all of their invisibility badges had worn off except for Cr’tna’s, so what happened next… probably should have been expected.

Almace and Calvin headed down to the bridge to meet up with the waiting S’pht when a giant invisible arm reached out and smacked the two humans into the walker’s steel wall. “Cal!” shouted Jason franticly as he saw his stunned brother on the floor, before Jason could check on Calvin, he saw the attacker turn visible before his eyes.

A massive Sangheili wearing golden armor, the alien let loose a roar that displayed four rows of teeth. Jason yelped at the sound before he realized that the Sangheili was reaching for a small round object attached to the alien’s belt. “Grenade!” screamed Jason at the top of his lungs while he jumped the Sangheili.

Thankfully Jason’s small size actually worked for him for once. The Sangheili seemed bewildered on what to do with a human attached to his leg and hindering the alien’s movements. For a torturously long second, the two grappled for the Sangheili’s belt, both fighting for the small object that Jason saw earlier. Then the unthinkable happened. One of them accidentally hit one of the buttons on the object.

A bright blue glow lit up the room. The Sangheili howled in pain and broke away from Jason, tossing the smaller man away. The alien’s leg was grazed open and a smell of burning flesh filled the air. Jason had fallen on his ass but his hands remained steady as he held up his prize. Blue energy crackled in the air, illuminating the brilliant grin on the small man’s face. “I’m finally a Jedi!!!” Jason crowed, holding the energy sword above his head.

The Sangheili snarled from his flesh wound before turning towards Jason. The alien’s eyes were filled with murder and hatred. Before the Sangheili attacked a second time, Almace and Calvin tackled the giant alien and managed to wrestle the roaring beast to the ground. Calvin’s heavy armor proving to be extremely useful in pinning the Sangheili down, the dirty blond managed to grunt out “Brother! Any time now!”

Jason tossed the sword away and quickly dug through the pockets in his cape. His hands quickly found a small vial that contained three blue plant needles within its glass case. Jason hurried over to the squirming Sangheili and pulled out one of the needles. Quicker than a striking snake, Jason pricked the Sangheili’s exposed skin near his four jaws with the needle and pulled it out just as quickly. The alien still fought to buck off Calvin and Almace, but it was clear that the needle was taking affect. The Sangheili started to slow down. His roars became lower in volume. Then, with a thump, the Sangheili fell asleep.

As one both Calvin and Almace sighed with relief while sitting on the Sangheili, “Jason, check him.” Calvin ordered from his perch.

The smaller man tucked the needles away and pressed his hands near the Sangheili’s throat. It took a minute to feel anything under that heavy armor but Jason did find a pulse after some determined searching. It was steady and strong, next Jason checked the alien’s eyes to see that they were indeed dilated. Last, Jason held his wrist guards near the Sangheili’s mouth and watched the metal mist up with every breath. Jason turned to his brother. “Pulse is steady and he’s breathing well. If he’s anything like us, he’ll wake up in a few hours feeling a little thirsty but that will be it of the side effects.”

Calvin nodded then looked down at the Sangheili’s wounded leg. “Can you give him anything for that?” He asked.

Jason shook his head. “I can bind it shut. Help stop the bleeding and keep infection away. But I dare not use any of my plants on him. Without knowing about his biology, he could have a serious allergic reaction to anything.”

“Do it.” Calvin ordered. “We’ll take him out of here and lay him next to the Unggoy. With luck, they’ll help him soon.” Calvin then turned to Almace who was starting to stand up. “Help Cr’tna activate this AT-AT. We need to leave now.”

*  
*  
*

Deep within the Covenant temple a young Jiralhanae Commander stood before the assembled Covenant. He had never done a sermon before. That was usually reserved for the Sangheili leaders or the San’Shyuum. But this Mass was called for emergency purposes, so the current leader must perform proper worship to the Forerunners. 

With a howl, he launched into fate of those who do not believe in the Forerunners. The agonizing pain of being left behind when the Great Journey starts. The Jiralhanae embellished how important it was to follow the Covenant’s laws, for if they did not, the Gods will be angry.

A great boom echoed overhead and the entire temple shook from the repercussions of the thunderous sound.

The listeners were now much more alert and paying attention. The young Jiralhanae Commander straightened in surprise as well. Did he… do that? A grin spread across his face. With a roar, he continued his sermon. He was going to be the best preacher within the entire Covenant!

*  
*  
*

“What did you do?” cried out Cr’tna. Their robes were fluttering anxiously.

“Nothing! I just tapped this hologram!” yelled Jason defensively.

“You fired the main cannon, you moron!” Almace was scrabbling franticly among the controls of the walker. “We’re lucky you didn’t hit the Covenant base!”

“Calm down everyone!” Barked Calvin. “Get us out of here! Now!”

*  
*  
*

“So rise up my Brothers! Rise up!” called out the young Jiralhanae Commander. “And all who rise up with me will be saved!”

A roar of religious fervor rose from the crowd of Covenant followers. Before any more could be said though, a small Unggoy came dashing into the temple from outside.

“The Scarab is rising!” shrieked the little grunt. “The Scarab is rising!”

The Jiralhanae Commander howled with triumph. Even their holy vessels were under his sermon!

*  
*  
*

With a curse Almace and Cr’tna darted out of the control room and headed swiftly to the engines. If they weren’t careful, the machines could overheat and explode. Calvin quickly took over the holograms in their stead. He had watched Almace’s movements at the control panel long enough to know how to make the AT-AT move. Carefully he guided the massive walker over the land and started to scale the mountains.

“We got flyers.” Jason reported. The elder brother watched the holographic screens anxiously. “Looks like the Covenant base has finally woken up and realized what we’re doing.”

“Can’t do anything about that right now.” Calvin hissed as he tried to get the Covenant walker to scale the sheer wall of the mountain.

BOOM!!! The AT-AT shook from the force of the impact.

“They’re firing at us!” Jason called out unhelpfully.

“Shut up and let me drive!” Calvin snapped back. He tracked the strange purple airships that the Covenant used. They looked tiny, probably only had one person operating the small craft. Calvin hovered his hand over the hologram for the main cannon, waited, and fired.

“You got him!” Jason cheered. “You clipped his wing! He’s landing! Whew! Hot Mama! Heh… Mama…”

“Jason.” Calvin warned as he tried once again to convince the walker to try to climb up the damn mountain. “What ever is going through your brain right now-”

“Mama!” Jason sang. Apparently the stress was finally getting to him. “I killed a man! Put a gun to his head. Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead!”

Calvin sighed as the Covenant walker slid back down the mountain. “-I give up.”

“Mama, life had just begun, now I thrown it all away… What are you doing?” asked Jason.

“I can’t climb up this thing! The mountain walls are too steep!” Calvin growled in frustration.

“Oh shit! Spiky blue guys! Spiky blue guys! The Hunter Worm machine eating guys!” Jason babbled as he saw more of the Covenant’s army approach.

“I see them! I see them!”

“There’s two of them-” Jason reported.

Boom!!!

“-and they’re shooting at us!” he added.

“I can see that too Brother!” Calvin raged.

A female’s voice crackled over the Covenant walker’s speakers. “Hey guys? The engine is turning red. Whatever is attacking us right now is going to destroy the AT-AT if you don’t do something about it.” Almace called out.

“Stop backseat driving me!!!” Calvin yelled in response. He maneuvered the gigantic monster of a machine at the approaching Mgalekgolo. Once again he fired the cannon. Not on the Mgalekgolo but on the mountainside around the approaching aliens. Calvin hoped it would scare the worms off. 

Instead it created an avalanche of rock to tumble down around the two aliens. Both brothers paused when they saw that the avalanche had created a walkway through the unclimbable mountains.

“Uh… Cal?” Jason was looking worriedly at his younger brother’s face. “Are you okay?”

“Are you seeing this?” Calvin couldn’t believe the solution would be that simple.

“Cal?”

“Are you seeing this?” Calvin’s voice turned a little firmer now that he could actually get the AT-AT through the mountains.

The two brothers looked at each other in happy disbelief. “MAMA!!!” sang Calvin at the top of his lungs.

“Oooooh!” Both boys howled out.

A grungy Mgalekgolo pulled themselves out of the rubble and started to shoot at the retreating Covenant walker. Calvin wrestled with the controls to avoid getting hit. “I don’t give two shits!” He hissed at the now distant alien.

Jason continued singing. “I don’t want to die! Sometimes I wish I was never born at all! Carry on! Carry on!”

Static came from the speakers before Almace asked, “Are you guys drunk?”

“Drunk on power baby!” cheered Jason. This was getting fun!

Calvin managed to calm himself down to report seriously to her. “We’re climbing through the mountains. Can you get a signal to Durandal?”

“No. Communications is still jammed. We need to get further out.” Cr’tna responded.

The Security Officer glanced at the holographic screens with intense concentration. “That means we have to climb more of these piles of shit.” Considering their luck the first time around, Calvin began to hit the holograms to the main cannons. He watched hopefully as the rocks crumbled and fall around them. Maybe they could trigger another passageway to form?

“Hmm… No such luck this time.” Jason grumbled at the mess around them. “Let me try piloting this thing.”

Calvin shook his head. “You can’t be serious.”

Jason reached for the controls. “Come on Bro. I can do this.” The Science Officer began to maneuver the AT-AT up the mountains.

“There is no way you can climb that. There is no… Shit.” Calvin watched in stunned silence as the Covenant walker slowly but steadily lurched its way up the mountain.

“Cool huh?” asked Jason

“What are you doing? How are you even doing that?”

Jason grinned at his younger brother before showing off the hologram his hands were hitting constantly. “I’m spamming the engines that are supposed to slow these guys down when they drop from orbit. This trick should make the AT-AT lighter and easier to maneuver over the terrain.”

Calvin shook his head in disbelief. It was working. It was slow, but it was working. “Yeah… and also make us a sitting duck to the enemy weapons.” Calvin observed while looking at one of the surveillance holograms.

Jason gestured around them. “What enemy weapons?”

Calvin frowned as he saw that nothing was attacking them after that last Mgalekgolo strike. “What’s going on?”

“Maybe they’re practicing the Bungie Theory.” Theorized Jason

“The what theory?”

“You know, the bad guys can only travel so far away from their starting place before they spring back to that spot? Like a bungee cable?” Jason hazard.

“That’s gotta be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.” Calvin groaned in disbelief. “Why would they break off attack when they have the enemy on the run?”

Jason shrugged. “Well, do you have a better explanation for this?”

Calvin looked everywhere. His movements were starting to be more show more paranoia “Are they really gone?” he asked.

Jason laughed at the craziness of their situation. “I don’t know man. Just look how stupid this is. I- Whoa!”

The Covenant walker had finally cleared the mountain and was about to hover over the lip to descend to the other side. Unfortunately, one of the walker’s four legs accidentally got caught on the mountain’s hard rocky ledge. With a lurch, the walker snapped back to the mountain’s tip like a yoyo.

“Whoa!” Both boys were shouting like crazy as they fought for the controls. The engines that normally were used to slow the walker down from orbital descent were now flaring all over the place in their mad attempts to stabilize the drunken AT-AT.

“Whoa!” For a brief moment, there was no gravity to be felt. Then, all of a sudden, everyone within the AT-AT slammed into wall. For now, it was the new floor.

“Ohhhhhhh!” The brothers froze in disbelief as they saw that the Covenant walker was now standing on one leg like a ballerina. The engines sputtering madly as the walker turned in slow circles above the mountain like a spider descending from the ceiling.

“Okay…” Jason whimpered as he climbed back to the controls. They could salvage this. They could! But before he could do anything, he heard the firm footsteps of his brother behind him. “Cal don’t go.” He called out to his retreating brother. “Bro don’t leave.” Calvin wasn’t showing any signs of slowing down or stopping. Jason pulled out the big guns. “CALVIN!!!” he shrieked. “I LOVE YOU!!!”

Calvin whirled around. “NO!!! I’M DONE!!! I’M DONE!!!”

“No you’re not!” Jason yelped as he managed to regain control of the unstable AT-AT.

“This is bullshit!” Calvin continued as the room rotated back to its proper floors and walls. Both brothers glanced at the surveillance holograms.

“Well, at least we’re on our belly now.” Jason tried to be cheerful only to realize that the one leg of the walker was still trapped at the tip of the mountain. The AT-AT tried to pull itself from away the mountain… only to slam back down again.

“WHAT IS THIS???” Calvin was finally breaking from the stress.

“Cal!” Jason tried to fight a battle on two fronts.

“WHAT IS THIS???” Calvin cried out again.

“I can’t get off!” Jason was both laughing and crying at the sight of their AT-AT humping the mountain.

“WHAT IS MY LIFE???”

“I’m stuck.” Wailed Jason.

Calvin began to storm away again. “I can’t do it Jason. I can’t-”

The elder brother finally snapped and roared at his departing sibling. “Well, I’ll tell you what Calvin! You gotta beef it up! Cause I can’t do it without you, and I know you can’t do it without me!”

Calvin ran a hand over his face. “I appreciate it. But look what we’re dealing with man.” The Covenant walker was still humping the mountain.

“Cal.”

“We gotta draw a line.” The Security Officer stated.

“Cal.” Jason tried again.

“We gotta draw a line in the sand.” Calvin was on a roll and he wasn’t going to stop. “We gotta make a statement. We gotta look inside ourselves and say, ‘what am I willing to put up with today?’ Not fucking this!”

Jason finally managed to rip the AT-AT away from the mountain and glide the battered machine over the last of the towering peaks. “Calvin!!! I’m superman!!! I believe I can fly!!!” Jason crowed in triumph.

Before anything else could be said between the two, a female voice announced wryly over the speakers. “Well, you did it. Communications are back online.”

Jason quickly clamped his hands over his ears. Long years of experience taught him what was going to happen next. His poor baby brother was not so lucky. A low male voice suddenly roared throughout the speakers. “WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING?”

Calvin winced and shrank away from the controls. “Um…”

“Um is not an answer!” snarled Durandal. “I want to know why the Vice Minister is demanding that I hang you by your entrails and parade your bodies naked through the streets! The only reason you are not dead right now is because I’m holding the Vice Minister’s flagship hostage!”

Oh! So that’s why the Covenant called off their attack! Jason found himself grinning at the alien’s forms of punishment. “Oooh! Kinky!”

“Can someone slap him for me?” Almace snapped from the engineering section.

Durandal’s voice changed slightly. Was that a note of betrayal? “Almace? Please tell me that you are not in on this?”

There was no response.

“Almace?” 

She finally responded. “Technically, I’m not ‘in’ the same room as them.” Jason rolled his eyes at her attempt to get out of trouble.

“Why…” The poor A.I. sounded so lost over this. Thankfully Cr’tna decided now was the time to display their knowledge of human customs.

“Surprise!” The S’pht called out cheerfully.

“What?”

Jason quickly following Cr’tna’s lead yelled out, “Happy Birthday!”

“What??”

Jason continued babbling. “You’ve always said that you wanted a body the size of a transformer and you can study the Forerunner technology on this baby as well!”

“WHAT???” At this point Durandal could be mistaken for a broken record.

“Don’t worry, I can fix it.” Almace volunteered from engineering.

“Just don’t let Jason drive it anymore.” Calvin added.

“Hey! I did alright!”

“And we can park it on that Dreadnaught you stole when we sacked Pfhor Prime. There should be plenty of room in there for this thing.” Almace continued.

“Please! Call it an AT-AT. I’m so feeling Star Wars right now. I’m even an official Jedi!” Jason boasted.

“He stole an alien light saber.” Calvin reported.

Strange crackling noises were heard over the speakers. For a long moment everyone was silent. “Durandal?” ventured Almace cautiously.

More static noises.

“Is he laughing or crying?” whispered Jason to Calvin.

“You three… Just hold still for transport… We’ll talk later…” Durandal finally managed to say over the layers of static.

*  
*  
*

It would be some days later before Jason was allowed to see the stolen Scarab again. During those past days Durandal and the Vice Minister debated fiercely and relentlessly like two dogs over a bone. In the end, the Vice Minister had to swallow his pride and admit defeat. After all, Durandal had already given the Vice Minister a wealthy bit of Jjaro technology in order for Durandal to see the Forerunner ruins. Since the Vice Minister had backed out from that original deal, Durandal should deserve to have that Jjaro technology back.

Of course, the Vice Minister didn’t want to give back the technology and Durndal’s crew decided to steal a Covenant Scarab. Most important of all, the Covenant ships including the Vice Minister’s flagship were helpless before Durandal’s stolen Pfhor battleships and scout ships.

In the end, the Vice Minister wisely decided to save whatever dignity he had left and graciously gave the Scarab to Durandal in return for the Jjaro technology. Durandal, in turn, graciously let the Vice Minister and all his toy soldiers live.

Jason personally felt that they should have gotten more out of the deal but his younger brother quickly shut him up. Calvin, far wiser when it comes to politics, believed that the Vice Minister would not want to advertise this embarrassment to the rest of his race and thus the San’Shyuum will keep quiet with what spoils he gained from this adventure. This will also assure that a war wouldn’t break out between Durandal’s ships and the whole might of the Covenant.

Jason, seeing the wisdom in this, decided to let it go. He stayed on the Rozinante, the heart of Durandal’s fleet, with his younger brother until the last of the debates were finalized and the Vice Ministers ships left with their tails tucked between their legs. Durandal’s own fleet was departing towards the outer edges of the galaxy when Jason summoned his courage and used a transmat to port himself across ships to the Pfhor dreadnaught.

A gigantic monster of a ship, the dreadnaught was the last Pfhor ship Durandal ever managed to steal before Pfhor Prime was sacked by the Human/S’pht alliance. Shaped like a huge rectangle that is turned slightly on its side, the dreadnaught looked different from any other Pfhor ship Jason has ever seen. What was even more important was the fact that the inside of the ship was massively open with few doors or rooms. The floor was littered with dirt and the walls were covered with stone.

Obviously this was meant to be a colony ship much like the Marathon. Durandal decided to name it Victor. Not because of the victory over Pfhor Prime. No. Durandal was not that obvious. Instead, in typical Durandal humor, the A.I. decided to name this ship after the horse of some unknown hero, much like the Rozinante was the horse of Don Quixote. In this case, Victor was the name of the Lone Ranger’s nephew’s horse.

…Yeah Jason still laughs about that little tidbit of information.

In any case, the huge ship quickly became a giant garden for both the S’pht and Jason to play with. Here plants for medicines, food, and pure decoration littered the entire caverns of the ship. Jason loved coming here and watching his hard work grow and bloom. And now, thanks to the dreadnaught’s huge size, the Covenant Scarab was now sitting within the gardens as well.

Jason approached it carefully and smiled gleefully at its AT-AT appearance. It was definitely worth stealing.

A clang startled Jason from his thoughts. He turned his gaze upward and found a slender human arm coming out of one the Scarab’s panels. When it’s groping hand couldn’t find what it was looking for, Almace popped her whole head and torso out of the Scarab with a scowl. She quickly found the tool box she left on the Scarab’s sides, grabbed the instruments she needed, and popped right back into the guts of the Covenant walker like a mole. Jason laughed at the sight. Oh dear… He had forgotten how Almace can get when she has a new toy to take apart and put back together. They’ll be lucky to see the girl within the next few months.

Heh. Speaking of luck. It was high time somebody got a proper Birthday party.

With a grin, Jason made a few calls over his Tacpad.

*  
*  
*

Several hours later Jason steps back from his work. He surveys the sight before him and decides to grab a can of yellow spray paint. A hint of a highlight would serve that spot particularly well… There!

Jason sat down with a sigh of relief. A job well done! It had been a very ‘very’ long time since he had done any graffiti tags, but it looks like the artistic skill was still there.

Before Jason could celebrate any further, he felt a pair of long legs press against his back. “There you are.” A familiar low voice announced. “I was wondering what you were doing outside of my camera range.”

Jason looked upwards to smile at Durandal’s questioning face. “Hey Durpy!” Jason gestured to his latest creation. “What do you think?”

It took Durandal a moment to answer. The Covenant Scarab was already gaudy to look at to begin with. But now Jason had added his own flair to the already bizarrely colored eyesore. Jason watched with interest as the android’s face made the smallest of twitches before the A.I. glared down at him. “You are washing that off right now.”

“Oh come on!”

“No. I will not have the words… ‘Durandal’s Birthday Suit’ emblazoned on this Scarab.” The A.I. looked like it was actually painful for him to speak the graffiti tag out loud.

“Technially, it is your Birthday suit!” Jason announced happily.

Durandal scowled at him. “Get rid of it. Now!”

“No can do bud.” Jason shook the can of spray paint before Durandal’s face. “It’s permanent ink!”

“What? How?” The android made a noise that wasn’t quite machine, but didn’t sound human either. Regardless of the strangeness of the sound, Jason was used to hearing it. Probably because he was one of the few people that could coax from Durandal’s bewildered core. “Where did you even get those?” The A.I. finally asked while pointing at Jason’s pile of spray paint cans.

“Nuh uh uh!” Jason tsked the android and shook his finger for emphasis. “A good thief never reveals his secrets.”

The android made another sound before conceding defeat and sat down on the ground beside Jason. For a while the two stared at the huge Scarab before them and the colorful graffiti that now adorned its side. “So Calvin is currently in the kitchens.” Jason ventured after a peaceful silence.

Durandal didn’t answer although Jason saw a small twitch of the androids lips.

“How many of our friends did he chase out the kitchen with the frying pan?” Jason asked eagerly. Since the Pfhor Empire didn’t really promote good tasting food, most of the crew aboard Durandal’s fleet had never had the comforts of delicious meals.

That all changed when Jason started growing sugarcane within the ship’s gardens. Now a days, whenever a human starts rummaging through the kitchens, it’s common to see ten to twenty aliens hovering by the doorways eager to taste test whatever the human is making. 

“Nine in total.” Durandal reported. “Gram and Lh’muria were the worst instigators of invading the kitchen while Calvin was cooking.” Durandal snorted in amusement. “But Mn’rhi actually managed to sneak out with a sample without getting caught.”

“Really? That little bastard!” Jason crowed happily. It’s not often someone pulls the wool over his little brother’s eyes. The elder brother cackled happily at the thought but when Durandal didn’t join in, Jason paused to really look at the android.

“Almace is still inside the AT-AT.” Jason reported after a long silence. Durandal made a soft humming noise at Jason’s side. The human decided to press on. “Did you talk to her about what happened between you and that asshole Vice Minister?”

“Yes.” The android whispered.

Jason waited patiently for a few minutes. But only a few. Then he gave a little push. “And what did she say?”

The A.I. released a sigh. “She honestly believes everything that she told that Vice Minister. That if any religion is truthful, that a God does exist, than I could have a soul. That I could spiritually become a God as well as scientifically.”

The dark skinned human gave off a soft snort. “Yeah. That sounds like her all right. That’s why she’s awesome.” Jason flopped down onto the ground, propped his arms behind his head, and examined the huge stone ceiling above him.

“What do you believe?”

“What?” Jason turned his head to look at the quiet android. “What do I believe?”

“Yes.”

Jason thought carefully before he announced his answer. “I believe that the first thing I’m gonna do when we escape the closure of the universe and see the birth of a new one, is find me the first planet that is closest to Earth as possible.”

“I…see…” Durandal was looking at the human with quizzical face.

“No. No. Let me finish.” Jason waved his hands at the android. “I’m gonna go down on that planet and find a bunch of huge rocks and then carefully shape them into the most phallic sculptures possible.”

“Oh there it is.” Durandal shook his head in relief. “For a moment there, I thought you were actually being serious.”

“Quit interrupting!” whined Jason. “I’m then gonna arrange those giant sculptures into a symbol that will, no doubt, confuse the hell out of all indigenous life forms that will evolve on that planet. But! Will always mean something to us!” Jason reached out and placed his hand on Durandal’s back. There, printed on the black leather jacket, was the neon green Marathon symbol. Jason let his hand idly trace the symbol for a second before letting his hand drop back underneath his head.

“I see. You want to make a Marathon Stone Hedge?” Durandal asked. The android’s eyes were lighting up with humor.

“Better than that! I’m gonna write something on the center pillars within the circle!” Jason announced happily. “We’ll have Re’eer translate my words into that flowery Narsh language he likes so much! And the center pillar will say, ‘All shall worship the mighty God Durandal. For he has the perfect little bubble butt.’”

“What?” Durandal squawked in surprise. “I do not!”

“Oh sure you do!” Jason attempted to grab Durandal’s jacket but the android batted him off. “You just hide it behind that ridiculous black trench coat of yours. Seriously, who is the Sith Lord here again?”

“I do not have a… bubble butt.” The A.I. announced slowly as he once again slapped Jason’s groping hands away from his jacket.

“Actually, you do.” A familiar female voice replied.

Both Jason and Durandal paused to look up at the Scarab. There, Almace had popped out of machine’s innards with a wrench in one hand, and goggles resting on her forehead. Jason couldn’t help but snicker at the fact that the Scarab must have a lot of oil within its insides because the girl’s bangs were now greased in the most awkward and possibly most adorable cowlicks possible.

Given Durandal’s blatant staring, Jason would have to wager, ‘most adorable.’

“He does what?” Jason called out to the girl.

“He does have a bubble butt.” She replied.

“Almace!” yelped Durandal.

“Oooh! Inside information!” Jason rubbed his hands together like a classic villain. “Tell me more. Tell me more!” He sang out to bemused Battleroid.

The girl shrugged casually. “Not much to say really. The S’pht are great at making the android’s torso. After all, they had plenty of practice with their own exoskeletons. But they never made legs before, nor did they know how to support the body when it moved. Considering how heavy Durandal’s outer shell is, if it isn’t properly cushioned, he could easily crush the android’s inner circuitry just by simply sitting down. So I built the cushioning.”

Durandal groaned and covered his face with his hands.

“So you got to grope him!” Cheered Jason. “Is he as soft as I think he is?”

A wrench flew through the air and nearly struck Jason’s shoulder. “Ack!!!” he yelped and darted behind Durandal. “She’s gonna kill me!”

“Quite frankly, you deserve it.” Durandal muttered dryly while trying to shove the smaller man off of his android body. “Why are you onboard my ships again?”

“Uh…” Jason beamed up at Durandal. “Because of my witty charm and handsome good looks?”

Durandal just stared at him.

“Okay. Because if you got rid of me, you’ll make my baby brother cry. And seeing Calvin sad is like… Breaking the laws of nature man. Like kicking little puppies. Or smacking baby kittens. You just can’t do it. You can’t make my brother sad, Durandal. You just can’t do it.” Jason finished with a huff.

Before Durandal could refute that, a chime sounded all throughout the ship. Apparently Calvin was done with his baking and was willing to share. With undisguised eagerness, the S’pht within the area quickly floated away. Even Almace, who tends to forget meals, pulled herself out of the Scarab and extended her hands to the two sitting before her. “Well? Wanna see what’s on the menu?” she asked.

Jason grinned and took her hand, Durandal quickly following suit.

*  
*  
*

Jason had to admit, the S’pht had done a wondrous job of decorating for the Birthday party. The celebration was being held in the center of the Dreadnaught. There, the gardens were built, not for food, but for art and tranquility. 

Fountains bubbled cheerfully among the corners of the vast chamber. Colorful lights were distributed through the cavernous walls of the Victor. Various songs and melodies were being played by the S’pht Kr in honor of their past ancestors. But most important of all was the food. There was so much food.

Of course Calvin didn’t bake all of it. How could he? But on the other ships throughout the fleet, various S’pht crewmembers as well as a few Pfhor rebels joined together to add to the feast that Jason messaged them to bake on his Tacpad hours ago. It was a very loud and very busy merry gathering.

Upon seeing Durandal enter the chamber, all of the S’pht took a page out of Cr’tna’s book and shouted cheerfully, “Surprise! Happy Birthday!”

The android paused at the sight and sound of it. True, the A.I. knew that something was being planed due to seeing the large bodies of people that were gathering here in this chamber. But all of this… just for him?

Jason seeing the lost look in Durandal’s gaze quickly took the android by the arm and led the A.I. through the throngs of crewmembers to where his baby brother was valiantly fighting to keep his baked goods safe.

“About time you got here!” Calvin announced in relief. “Gram almost ate your cake!” The younger brother gestured to the overburdened table behind him. There, almost every kind of cake in existence sat on the table’s surface. They were simple cakes baked by wheat grown onboard the ships and eggs from pet alien birds that acted like chickens. 

The fleet didn’t have the supplies to make frosting or sprinkles but the layers of sweet fruit that sat on the baked dough was enough to tempt the S’pht to try to sneak samples. In the center of the cakes was a massive round one with layers of kiwi arranged decoratively into the Marathon logo.

With a flourish, Jason pulled out a small alien flower to perch on the top of the cake like a candle. This flower was rather special in the fact it only bloomed when it was on fire. Jason looked towards Almace to do the honors but she was preoccupied with something else.

The girl approached the android with a familiar backpack in her hands. Behind her, several S’pht also followed with similar backpacks carried in their silver arms. As one, they presented the bags to Durandal. The android arched an eyebrow at them before plucking a backpack out of Almace’s grip. For a long second the A.I. studied its contents before asking in disbelief. “Forerunner artifacts. You managed to steal Forerunner artifacts as well?”

Almace shrugged cheerfully at Durandal’s bewildered tone. “Well, wouldn’t be much of a Birthday with only one gift. Now would it?”

The A.I. didn’t answer and Jason felt it was time to save the poor guy from dealing with things like emotions and feelings. “Hey Almace! Ready to light this sucker?” he called out.

The grin on the girl’s face was a little scary. But then again, dealing with a possible pyromaniac was always scary. “Watch your eyes.” She called out to everyone in the chamber. She pulled down her own goggles and took a small torch out of her tool belt. The brilliant blue flame lit up the chamber like a tiny star. The flower caught on fire and emitted a sweet peppermint smell. The petals opened like a daisy while the center flickered in cheerful flames.

Almace turned off her torch and glanced at Durandal. The android stood quietly at the center of the table, taking in the sight of the beautiful glowing flower. “Well. Make a wish.” The girl coaxed gently.

Durandal glanced at her and then turned his gaze to Jason and Calvin. The android looked further out to the huge crowd of S’pht, small groups of rebel Pfhor, and the lone Drinniol. The android returned his gaze back to the cake with a smile on his face. He took a deep breath and blew out the candle.

*  
*  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *  
> *  
> *
> 
> This was supposed to be a simple silly story about the idiots stealing a Covenant Scarab… And then things happened. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I had fun writing it!
> 
> Vale,  
> Vulthuryol


End file.
